Humor me

Recently, I was browsing the net and came across some funny quotes. Thought I should share it with all you selfish bastards. At least one of us is spreading the love :P

1 "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"
Short and funny quote by, Homer J Simpson.


2 "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
Short funny quotes, Unknown.


3 "I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
Short funny quotes by, Zsa Zsa Gabor


4 "I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
Short and funny quotes, Rodney Dangerfield


5 "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world," Calvin.


6 "Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality."
Short and funny quote by, Clifton Fadiman.


7 "Never stand between a dog and the hydrant."
Short Funny Quote by, John Peers.


8 "You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough."
- Short and funny quote by, Pearl Williams.